One of the things that I promised myself I would do this year was to blog once a week. Scroll down the page and you will see I haven’t done a great job of meeting that goal =). I’m going to start making good on that promise.
If you had asked me a year ago where I would be in my life I would have given you a completely different answer than where I am now. It’s funny how the twists and turns thrown at you completely changes the road your walking on. As I wrote this I paused every few minutes to think about what my life will be like a year from now. What new things will come? I’m not sure, but I have faith that it will be good.
So I’ll start off with making good on my promise by sharing about the most important person I’ve ever known.
My God Daughter Shay was 6 years old when she passed away after a long battle against Brain Cancer.
I met shay for the first time at her Dad’s 30th birthday party. I was chopping wood in the back yard, tending to the fire when Shay walked up and asked what I was doing. In true Shay fashion she had her hands on her hips and that sassy look in her eyes. I shrugged my shoulders and told her I was chopping wood for the fire.
I paused for a moment, thought, and consequently (although I didn’t know it at the time) made one of the best decisions of my life while also making one of the worst possible judgments an adult can make…I handed her the ax and we began to chop wood together. Now I know what some of you may be thinking, and you shouldn’t worry too much…I was only 4 drinks in and there was an EMT and Firefighter somewhere in the backyard.
It was one of my best decisions because that evening I met someone who would change my life forever. Luckily, despite handing a 6 year old an ax her parents were gracious enough to let me be a part of her life.
About a year or so later Shay asked me to her God Podder. Try as she might…God Father always came out God Podder. I am so proud to be Shay’s God Father. I’ll hold it with me for the rest of my days. Someday, when I have my own children I can’t wait to tell them about Shay, who she is, and how much she meant to me.
This is what Shay taught me.
People complain a lot. And most of the time people complain about the insignificant mundane annoyances that occur during the day to day as if they are something worthy of our time. When I’m ready to complain I think about Shay and her battle…the pain she endured. I think about the courage she showed to the face of death. Her strength has given me the courage to deal with life in a more confident and positive way. Those little things don’t seem to bother me much anymore. My life is forever changed because of Shay and it is so much better.
I will always celebrate Shay’s life. While I’m sad that Shay is not physically here, she is with us in her spirit. Nothing ever truly ends. Energy can change form…but it is never lost. Shay’s energy, her spirit, is looking down at us right now.
All that she was is still here…it is all around us. As I move forward I must remember to never move on. Moving on means forgetting, letting go, and pushing memories to a distant corner of my mind.
Moving forward means holding onto the memories, the pain, the happiness, the sadness, the joy….and keeping that with me. I’ve embraced all of it and have become a better person because of it. Everyone that knew Shay will move forward with her, and She will move forward with us.
So…as the days pass by, as the weeks come and go, as the years roll on, and as decades become a distant memory, someday, we will be with Shay again.
What we leave behind is not nearly as important as how we’ve lived.